So the bunny is having hop-time.  My love-affair with tumblr is continuing, if anything the embrasure of yet another internet platform when the world beckons outside the window - I say, fie, world, I have the internet. 

I had a very strange night the other night. It started in that oh-so gleeful outside word.  It started out quite innocuously with getting my car back - finally.  Then we went to lezchat (lesbian chat at the LA LGBT Center).  We've been going for a few weeks, and it's fun and social, a nice way to meet other lesbians in a fun and non-bar way.  We went out for dinner with the group afterwards, then met up with Omar.

We ended up at a straight bar on the Sunset Strip.  He lives over there, and we were looking for cheap drinks.  It really became clear how much I had begun to identify as a lesbian...how much the presence of Ron Jeremy in a corner, skinny skinny booby blondes in platforms, men right out of the Jersey Shore, I really felt like I was at a casting for Tool Academy or somesuch VH1 reality moment. 

We definitely found it tough to get a drink. After waiting for about ten minutes while others were served, I finally pulled out my old school bar mannerisms and smiled coquettishly at the bartender.  That worked.  We got gin and tonics and settled into a back booth.

Later, when I got home, I found myself just a little too wound up to get to sleep.  I attributed it to the iced coffees I'd downed at dinner, or all the walking around we'd done, or the adrenalin when the kareoke hostess in the first bar started picking on me and I scuttled backwards like a starfish.

Hours passed.  The internet got less exciting.  Katie fell asleep.  I got less coherent.  I could not sleep.  I redid the tumblr.  I celebrated at 4 am when Stephen was featured on cute boys with cats. See here.  Super-awesome, no???  I was so manic, so pathetic, so ridiculously bored yet excited by the minimal, the ridiculous...it was all in all just like I would be if I was on all sorts of illicit druggy drugs except I was not.  All I can attribute it to was that I had switched medications to wellbutrin and topamax that week, and those are both powerful stimulants.  Powerful stuff.  I was up till 11 am the next day.  My god!!!!

Finally, finally, on Katie's urgings, I slept.  I slept until about 9 am the next day, and I was so glad to finally get some rest.

I was reading this article in Jezebel this morning, and started thinking about my relationship to gender coding and how it has evolved.  I used to be bisexual, but predominently dated men.  When I was younger, college in the nineties, the women I would end up with were usually just interested in experimentation, which gets a bit old.  In my later life there was never quite the right person, situation, or relationship, until now.  People assumed I was straight.

But I remember this problem the article speaks of, sussing out a potential friend/partner's orientation.  This used to matter to me far more.  In the past six months, since living at Waco, I have been part of a delightful streamlining and de-emphasis of this. 

Lately, I only socialize with gay men.  As a lesbian in a committed relationship, not having the tension of expectation or the built-in rejection after post-sex-awkwardness with my male friends, is so nice.

We have been having the most lovely little coffee klatches over here in the lezshack, with Stephen and his dates and various roommates and friends and whatnot.  I enjoy being a hostess, and having people drop by.

The other point this article brought up for me was the possibility that observers might think I was a married woman canoodling with a beautiful young girl, and not connect that we were an engaged couple.  That's their problem.

It really feels great, though, to know where my life is going to go from here, and to know that it's going to be awesome.

The sun is rising over waco, and our new lease starts today.  I am preparing to charge.  The car is packed with books and files and miscellania.  I am burning my mouth on hot coffee, pulling the cat out of the sink, again awake way earlier then necessary, but: this I cannot explain. Why do I wake up so early?  It's an instinctual sort of cry to morning - "aiiieeeee!!!! I have things to do!"

Darling Katie, newly blond and shorn, sleeps like an angel.

Moving in pieces always has that quality of indecision.  It doesn't all go up or down at once, instead it's bits here and bits there.  K and I have had a few discussions as to what is the best method.  My preferred one is to take small things, small boxes, paintings and such, and move them by car, then when the place is somewhat cleared out, get a u-haul.  But the question of when to transfer residence completely - i.e. move the bed, computer and pets.

It's not exactly a life-threatening question, but it's affecting me lately.   The sun is rising out my window, and there will be many more sunrises out of bigger windows in the future.

I have realized that this blog's title is almost completely inappropriate to the content.  Neon and Concrete?  It was named in 2006, when I was fresh from San Francisco, where there was plenty of both, and languishing in a non-profit temp job. Now it is more like "sunshine and caffeine reflections, or, "domestic funtimes" "why being a lesbian is delightful."

Okay, that's a topic. I used to date men.  I dated many men.  While some were fine and dandy, the predominant sort, those I chose (or clung to me) for long-term relationships, were abusive, parasitic, and has substance abuse problems.  There are a few exceptions, but that is not the point.  The point is that the year and three months that Katie and I have been together has been amazingly happy and harmonious.  I fall more and more in love with her every day.

I give up on grandiose generalizations about why women are superior.  Also, because, I don't agree. Some of my best friends are men, gay men, and lovely people.  But - lesbian sex is so much better than straight sex.

Have I overshared enough?  Perhaps.