Wake up - pills
Go to sleep - more pills
Absence and presence. Preiscence. Premonitions.
Seratonin Sangria Santeria.
I go to sleep, and dream of sick rats, dirty, squabbling, dying. I wake up at 8:30 and they are sweet blue furballs, round in their shoebox.
Video killed the radio star
Internet killed the zine.
But what's going to off the internet?
I remember making zines, feeling there was an evil creeping voicelessness of being a teenage girl. Now there are avenues of expression, so many.
My glasses lost, I cannot keep up.
It's time for lists.
Books I am in the middle of reading:
- More, Now, Again, Elizabeth Wurtzel
- The Virgin of Flames, Chris Abani
- Starting from Scratch, Rita Mae Brown
- Bloom, Fall 2005
What is secret and what is exposed, what is kept and what is discarded.
I live in Los Angeles, with its dance between public exposure, dense cult secrecy, and willful exploitation. I like it here.