Wake up - pills
Go to sleep - more pills

Absence and presence. Preiscence. Premonitions.

Seratonin Sangria Santeria.

I go to sleep, and dream of sick rats, dirty, squabbling, dying. I wake up at 8:30 and they are sweet blue furballs, round in their shoebox.

Video killed the radio star
Internet killed the zine.

But what's going to off the internet?

I remember making zines, feeling there was an evil creeping voicelessness of being a teenage girl. Now there are avenues of expression, so many.

My glasses lost, I cannot keep up.

It's time for lists.

Books I am in the middle of reading:

• More, Now, Again, Elizabeth Wurtzel
• The Virgin of Flames, Chris Abani
• Starting from Scratch, Rita Mae Brown
• Bloom, Fall 2005

What is secret and what is exposed, what is kept and what is discarded.

I live in Los Angeles, with its dance between public exposure, dense cult secrecy, and willful exploitation. I like it here.