Saturday, July 19, 2014

I enjoy my insomnia. I know I could take the Saphris and go to sleep, but I enjoy the process of self-discovery that being up late on the computer brings me.  It is so dark, so quiet, but the inner self seems alive with the hum of electronics and psychic energy.  It is the perfect time for yoga, art, writing or witchcraft, all best practiced alone.

Friday, July 18, 2014

I am concentrating and working so hard yet still I feel it is not enough.  I stop for a moment, I look at the screen and I see a white corsage pinned on a handmade dress. I see moments of cinematic beauty. And I am reminded that there are reasons to stay here.

Perhaps a nice yoga session while I watch the Virgin Suicides and process these things. Then back to revision from 7pm-11pm.  Camp NaNoWriMo is coming along. I am getting the work done as I need to get done.  the novel is much improved.  it is just a lot of time, but I am happy to put in the work.

My boyfriend teases me with the story of the Gamer who never finishes his game.  I want to finish this book at some point, hopefully soon. I have committed to emailing Writ Large whatever I have on August 4th.  From that point I will wait.  And put in all the time I can reasonably commit to until then.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Again? Again.

How much self-expression is enough self-expression?  I have been doing this blog since 2006 and it is just such a comfortable space, so I continue.

Reopened the doors, so to speak.  A lot has happened.  Katie committed suicide on October 15, 2012. i went to detox and rehab and got sober from alcohol.  I started consuming medical marihuana as a harm reduction measure in February 2013. It helps with the PTSD and anxiety.

Part of getting sober involved committing to honesty and full disclosure. Why lock up this blog? i have nothing to hide anymore. I commit myself to the truth. This is a record of what has past. Records are valuable.

Perhaps I will be posting more as the spirit moves me, but I need to put on makeup, go to the Dispensary and do a spell at high noon.  I've gotten quite into witchcraft. It always works.

This blog is a bit of a relic, but shaken off and stirred it stands, to post in again. I'm still on disability, so I've got a lot of free time.

I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo with the Scaffolding manuscript.  It balloons.  A revision, but I must read through it again.  Later.  Another day.

For now, to live!