Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Oh blog.  Oh coffee.  Oh Tuesday.  I am finally pulling out of a deep depression, which is why I haven't been writing.  There is something obscenely whiny about writing about depression while depressed, it makes me squirm with its raw desperation.  Claw claw out of bed.  It was a matter of getting the car tire, the ativan, the food stamps, all straightened out.  Today I am feeling victorious as those things are done.  I can move forwards.

So many readings happen that I want to go to, and so many things come up that get in the way.  I have a policy that I won't go out when Katie is depressed and needs me, even if she is asleep.  I don't want to abandon her and gallavant around.  The Collaborations reading looked super-swell, and I'm right next to downtown now...but...didn't make it.

The treehouse has a certain cozy enclosure.  When I am here it is hard for me to leave. We are bracketed by Alvarado with its traffic bottleneck, and the lake.  Unlike Waco, the cottage so small that I was always pulling outwards, to silverlake sunset for coffee and window shopping, now I've been slow to explore.

Sitting in downbeat cafe, Katie and I decided to draw each others' former selves.


Katie envisioned mid-nineties me.

I went for general cuteness.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Oh, Giblets Giblets, Giblets.  The meek little ball of fluff we took home has morphed into a badass bunny commando who chases the cat around and generally dominates the living room, all while twitching his little white nose.

In that fluffy flufferkins here manages to bully and boss around a carnivorous sharp-toothed cat, all on the strength of attitude - wow.  I'm not sure what the cat thinks the bunny is going to do to her, but the bunny, well, he's bluffing.

I just separated them.  Nevada was looking scared.  Gave her some kitten kibble in the breakfast nook and shut the door.  Giblets flopped down under a chair.

 Giblets is a shelter bunny, and apparently has some serious "street cred."  Athena the rat just poked her noise out of the cage.  This blog entry is reading like a children's book, I need to change subjects, and how.  My living room is not the muppet show.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Bunny o-clock.  Giblets has come to live with us.  He is a swell little guy, just recovering from the big snip and acclimating to our home.

Nevada is a little perturbed.  I gave her some wet food, and a talk about her baby brother.  We'll see.

Another blog that comes to mind, supercute: hipster puppies

I apologize for the overuse of the h-word in my recent postings, it's the sort of thing I like to mock.  Having taken subculture far too seriously in my younger years, it's amusing to poke fun.

These helicopters that swerve and dive outside, why?  I used to think they were coming for me, in further excesses of paranoia.  Now that I've got my meds straight, this is less and less the thought.  But so many.  This is Echo Park and thus and so...I don't know, there's graffiti, is this some big gang hub or am I just remembering 1993's Mi Vida Loca (My Crazy Life)? Saw it in the theater in high school,  that's how old i am.  I just know there are a lot of sneakers very carefully painted hanging from the telephone wires.

But the Echo Park lake is beautiful, and I've been taking long walks around it.  This is the view out our window.  I had some fitness plan involving religious walks around this every day...apparently I am bad at discipline.  The fitness plan is hopefully to be enriched by some wellbutrin, I have to go see the psychiatrist and get a med-switch.

And that's all for now.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

how completely unproductive was this!  I slept the day away on the couch, the sun filtering through the window, lumps of blanket and cat.  Now the new tenants or possibly the contractors are making noise in the bottom unit, and I'm trying to figure out this google buzz thing.

coughs through the floor.  cold water.  a sense of peace.
Well, tequila is a harsh mistress, apparently.  And drunkblogging not exactly the best method of articulation.  Things found behind monitor: kitten, earring.

Today my car has a flat tire, Katie is at school all day, and I am stuck at home.  Perhaps this is a good opportunity to force myself to write.  Or to cheer up.  It's 9:30 am and I've already had pills and two cups of coffee, so this is about as good as it gets moodwise.

How about a list of funny blogs that I look at:
 Le sigh.   The day wears on, I carry glasses to the sink, shower, take out the trash.  The world moves beyond the window, I watch it, slowly, slowly.  Listen to old music and consider.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

This post is brought to you by margaritas, thanks to Myke.  I am trying an experiment in, well, not drunkblogging, but tipsyblogging.  Katie is finishing up her homework, and I am bemoaning the fact that the Washington Blvd Concert blog seems to have been eaten by spam and shut down by the blogger gods.  While this is perhaps a tempest in an innertubes teapot, the concert long-over, it just seems a pity that all of that interesting documentation is erased.

The negative factors currently at play
  1. I have a flat tire
  2. I really can't put off the food stamp office any longer
  3. I have to make an appointment at the free clinic to find out if I have face cancer.  wheee!!!
  4. My grandmother told me she didn't approve of gay marriage....I'm engaged to a lady.
The positive factors:
  1.  Katie is amazingly beautiful
  2. Vanessa Place reviewed the poetic duo in The Constant Critic
  3.  Hot glue-gunned myself some new typewriter-key earrings
  4. Omar is back from London
  5. Disability check arrives tomorrow
  6. Don't have to do taxes this year

And the other most up and down factor is that I seem to have put on quite a few extra pounds in the last few months.  I'm considering going back on wellbutrin (as opposed to lexapro, my current anti-depressant), as it made me super-thin.  Curses to these beauty standards and all that, but, really, I can't help remembering little cocaine-addled size zero me, and considering that I'm now a size 12.  I would like a healthy avenue to being somewhere in between there.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Fun and good will.  Today we went to the animal shelter and looked for a bunny, "giblets" will be his name. We had a moment of femme-femme mall girldom and cruised the makeup counter, where I managed to trade 6 empty MAC containers for a free lipstick.  Nifty little program, that.

Various hi-jinx:

Here we have, Katie at Disneyland, Ama's birthday blacklight mini-golf, and Fag Football drag show at Akbar.

But, okay, back to the MAC thing.  I used to be obsessed with their makeup, obsessed, I say.  Obsessed the way Katie is obsessed with Degrassi Jr. High.  The fact that I've been through the "Give back to MAC" trade-in thing twice will profess to this.  However, this magical thing happened called the recession, and called me getting older and going on disability and having substantially less disposable income to throw around on things like $16 eyebrow pencils, and I downgraded.

And really, it was fine.  Not as painful as I would have thought.  Here I used to spend my the last $15 from my unemployment check on eyebrow waxes, and now I am pretty happy with drugstore makeup.  Beautiful shimmers, irridescence and glitzy packaging, well...it's all fine and dandy until someone loses an eye and I end up at the free clinic for a potentially cancerous melanoma.

Oooooo, segue.  Yes, there is a blot on my face MY FACE.  And it could be C-A-N-C-E-R.  So today I traded in the six empty compacts I had been carrying around for months for a matte red.

Is that fourth-wave feminism?  It's not that bullshit ribbon pink.  If it is cancer, which I don't know if the Hollywood free clinic will be able to ascertain, I am probably going to find something stronger that tinted whale blubber and probably involving high octane grain alcohol.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

hot tamales and purple lipgloss in a pot.
my fingers smudge in, and it's la brea, dirty.
I'm in his buick, passenger seat.
farm fresh ranch market to the left
home depot ahead, I am
I am wishing.