Monday, March 29, 2010

Things that could go wrong at our wedding:
  1. S.S. shows up, objects during ceremony
  2. Andrea decides to arrange all flowers herself
  3. S.C. dies of acute ganache overdose
  4. Dads collectively get mad at not being able to give away daughters, go bowling together
  5. Rings lost by Nevada, ring bearer cat
  6. Giblets poops on everyone in flower bunny promenade
  7. Andrea's dress splits across the ass while walking down the aisle
  8. Andrea gets her period, stains the dress
  9. Andrea runs out of ativan 3 days before the wedding
  10. Dad insists upon slideshow of naked baby pictures of A
  11. Aunt Joan
  12. Tsunami
  13. Heat stroke attack during ceremony, death count: 5
  14. Stephen doesn't show up because he went on a date
  15. Katie contracts rabies, tries to eat Andrea
  16. Omar & Gabe sneak off to hook up
  17. Between Omar, Stephen, Matt & Gabe, major altercations in type of attire.  Stephen insists upon wearing shorts, Matt wants a cummerbund, Gabe prefers a bow tie, Matt vetoes, Omar wants to wear green and bring his dog Darla
  18. Katie pre-orders tuxedo, upon arrival it is lavender and tent-sized.
  19. Pregnancy
  20. Andrea's heels are too tall, she falls into cake.  S.C. cries.
  21. Bridesmaids organize bachelerette party involving Lynn Breedlove jumping out of a cake and us getting matching tattoos of each other's faces.
  22. Jai and Vinnie Greenpeace show up demanding their Victoria's Secret catalogs
  23. Caterer screws up,  makes only vegan food.
  24. The only location we're able to book is cowshwitz
  25. Bouquet is thrown, caught by Stephen's father
  26. Caterer screws up, serves ez-shatter plastic utensils, someone gets shanked.
  27. Ipod death, no dancing
  28. Location screws up, thought we were the clown theme wedding
  29. Performance art act hired by Stephen offends all guests over 35
  30. Our mother decide to do a celebratory dance wearing seashell bras.
  31. Our parents get along a little too well - swappage.
  32. Awkward inter-familial drunkenness
  33. Single guests hook up after too much champagne
  34. Nobody dances
  35. Everybody dances, party goes overtime, costs $2,000 extra.
  36. Honeymoon switcharoo ends us in Tahoe Inn

1 comment:

Stephen van Dyck said...

LMAOWTFLGBTBBQ @ 3,6,7,8,15,18,21,22,23,24,25

and I deeply seriously hope 21 and 25 happen.

<3 S