I was reading this article in Jezebel this morning, and started thinking about my relationship to gender coding and how it has evolved. I used to be bisexual, but predominently dated men. When I was younger, college in the nineties, the women I would end up with were usually just interested in experimentation, which gets a bit old. In my later life there was never quite the right person, situation, or relationship, until now. People assumed I was straight.
But I remember this problem the article speaks of, sussing out a potential friend/partner's orientation. This used to matter to me far more. In the past six months, since living at Waco, I have been part of a delightful streamlining and de-emphasis of this.
Lately, I only socialize with gay men. As a lesbian in a committed relationship, not having the tension of expectation or the built-in rejection after post-sex-awkwardness with my male friends, is so nice.
We have been having the most lovely little coffee klatches over here in the lezshack, with Stephen and his dates and various roommates and friends and whatnot. I enjoy being a hostess, and having people drop by.
The other point this article brought up for me was the possibility that observers might think I was a married woman canoodling with a beautiful young girl, and not connect that we were an engaged couple. That's their problem.
It really feels great, though, to know where my life is going to go from here, and to know that it's going to be awesome.