Wednesday, March 02, 2016

I am trying to be better about blogging now that I'm still doing this. It's a late night on Wednesday and I'm reassessing.

Today I woke up with a revelation about what writing projects and should shelve (DIARY OF A HOLLYWOOD HEDGEWITCH) and start (ANGELICA AT THE SERRANO). This took the form of a dream where I looked at the ANGELICA AT THE SERRANO manuscript. Realized that I would find so much more to edit on that that I should work on that instead for a while. and only later get back into DIARY OF A HOLLYWOOD HEDGEWITCH to cut that last 10,000 words once I had taken significant time  away from the manuscript.

 My other revelation was that I can't query an agent for DIARY OF A HOLLYWOOD HEDGEWITCH as I had previously been planning to because the exact range of money $13,000-100,000 of which is the exact range advances from big presses come in would be the amount that would totally fuck up everything I have built and strived for in my life and land me in far more debt than I am in right now, making publishing with large presses undesirable for me at this time. I will be attempting to publish my two-three novels and memoir on small presses only in the future. This is because I am on disability and have had $100,000 in student loans forgiven which I owe again if I lose my disability or make over $15,000 a year for the next 2 years.

I will continue to labor in the trenches. I will work quietly and rotate manuscripts one by one until I feel that one is ready then release it upon the world with a select small press where I don't really care how much they pay me or if they do. It's my path as a writer. It's what I have to do to preserve my position. I'm trying very hard not to fuck everything up, and every year I get close to the brink and then realize my mistake and change my mind and pull back. I'm trying to make better choices now.

Getting sober really helps. I have 2 years and one month sober from alcohol now and I am so much happier. I don't have to work at staying sober any more. The cravings have completely disappeared. I just know implicitly that I can't and won't drink and I won't even if I'm around it or someone offers it to me. It's great!

Now that I'm thinking ahead and planning, I'm trying to make better choices as I move forwards into my 40s which I'm hoping will be my happiest and most prosperous decade yet. It will certainly be the soberest and most productive I hope. I'm 39. 2016 is the year I turn 40. I'm trying to get ready for it. Gear up to it, as it were.

I am prepared to labor quietly in the trenches for the rest of my life until someone discovers one of my books at a used bookshop and falls in love with it really. That's what I live for. I always friend back my fans on Facebook because I don't have an author page. So if you are one, say hi!

I published a food essay: "Ode to a Latte Macchiato,"  in Entropy, February 26, 2016.
And "Sidepiece Blues" Excerpt from Diary of a Hollywood Hedgewitch, February 15, 2016.

I've been busy. So for the moment I'm taking a little break. Catching up on my social media. Pinterest, anyone? I love this shit.

Here's a picture of my cat in a dress because you're nice for listening to me talk about myself for one whole blog entry:

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